Case in point: what do I call what we're doing?
To the general public, I usually just say "homeschooling". Then they at least know that we don't plan to send our kids to school, and unless they feel like asking more detailed questions (in which case I elaborate), that's enough.
But within homeschooling groups, I feel a need to go a step further and specify "unschooling", since I do not plan to have a set curriculum or texts or evaluations beyond what is required by the state.
So...as I learn and read and learn and read (and read, and read, and read), I seek out other people along similar non-school paths: for perspective, advice, and understanding. At one point, I came across the idea of "radical unschooling", which in its simplest definition seemed to fit where my soul-searching was leading me. Aha! That must be us!
Now...I hate to make generalizations (read: stereotypes), but when you encounter a group of like-minded people it's fair to say that you often notice certain trends. And within many of the RU groups/boards that I've lurked thus far, it seems to me that I find this overriding attitude of countering one parenting extreme (control and rigidity) by espousing the complete opposite extreme (universal permissiveness). I have always felt very strongly about taking my kids seriously but it seems to me that many of the folks who wear the RU badge go to the far extreme of allowing the children's needs/wants/desires to completely dominate the lives and activities of the rest of the household.
I'm sorry, but this isn't The
I prefer a constantly-adjusting-to-each-situation moderation and willingness to reasses/change, both in parenting and in learning. Heck, in everything. I believe that one of the most important things a person of any age should learn is reasonable limits and self-restraint. Always saying "yes", IMO, cripples a child's ability to think critically...and of course there's the old fashioned idea that something that is waited for, or worked for, or done without, is often valued more highly than something that comes without effort.
So, I don't think we're RU, either. I do consider us unschoolers. We're very AP, we respect our kids' opinions and needs, and we're anti-testing/curriculum. But the more I lurk in unschooling mailing lists, the less "radical" I feel about it.
What is a non-radical unschooler, then? Isn't that like saying you're a conservative liberal?
See, that's why labels are such a mess. Maybe I'll just start saying "eclectic autodidact"...