homeschooling, homemaking, homesteading...home.

Monday, August 25, 2008

My job

They say that having children grounds you. That it teaches you to live in the moment. And there is a lot of validity to that.

But.

Life, and the maintenance demands of such, still goes on. And I am finding that it is very easy to fall into a pattern of working so hard to keep the "work" done, that I end up resenting the kids' constant demands on my time. I feel like I fight a constant battle trying to decide, well, do I play with the kids, or cook dinner? Do I sit down and read with them, or do laundry? Sometimes the delicate balance of time just doesn't allow for everything I *want* to do AND everything I *need* to do. And I constantly feel like something is suffering. In this role of housewife/mother, I often feel despair, because I am killing myself to fill both roles completely, and end up feeling like I am always shortchanging something. Or everything. I am so busy trying to be a good mom that my house looks like an utter disaster. Or, I am so stubbornly committed to getting through my "to do" list that I feel like I am neglecting my children. Gah.

Finding that balance is hard.

I am reminded of something that many managers have told me throughout my working life. "Don't get annoyed because a customer interrupts some other task you may be doing. THEY ARE WHY YOU ARE HERE."

I need that kick in the butt sometimes. I need to stop feeling frustrated that the kids have interrupted me so many times that it has taken me 3 hours to unload the dishwasher. I need to remember that obvious little nugget. They are why I am here. They are the "who" that I am doing this for. It's funny how easy it is to get mired in the drudgery and lose sight of something that simple.

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