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Monday, May 31, 2010

Three Aprons in a Tub

...and who do you think they could be?

THE BUTCHER


This is an actual butcher apron; both in style and purpose. It's pretty well stained like a good one should be, too...although most of the stains are from chocolate and tomatoes and not from blood. This was my first apron; purchased at a discount department store. (Ames? Wal-Mart? I can't remember.)

Correction: this was technically my second apron. My first was a gingham skirt apron with cross-stitch embroidery on it that some relative had started and gave to me to finish. And I was a teenager and easily distracted and never finished it and eventually lost it. Sigh.

Anyway. The Butcher saw many years of use early on but has fallen out of favor since my collection has grown. It has gloriously long straps and full coverage. It's practical and simple. Sometimes, that's all you need.

THE BAKER


This is where my nursery rhyme allusion starts to break down. This is another heavy-duty butcher apron, but with a slightly kitschy print of kitchen implements. It bears the logo for Calphalon. Yes, they are a cookware company. No, they do not produce bakeware. I'm sticking by the metaphor anyway.

This was a hand-me-down, I think from an aunt. It is, again, stained and beat-up but sturdy and useful. It still sees a good deal of regular rotation in cooler weather, but gets ignored during the summer because heavy denim is HOT!

THE CANDLESTICK MAKER


Okay, now I have to just bow out of the nursery rhyme altogether. This has nothing to do with candlestick making at all. It is, rather, a uniform apron. In case the logo isn't clear, this little lady once flew with a US Airways flight crew member. She's seen better days (the apron! I'm not making value judgments about the former owner!) and has a broken strap, but a firm knot fixed it. This apron saw a lot of action during the spring of 2004 but hasn't been used lately. I used to use this for cooking (as with most of my aprons), but the close-fitting design and numerous pockets are making me reconsider bringing her out of Second Retirement and putting her to work as a Cleaning Day garment.

And no, I did not tie these bad boys to the dining room chairs in some half-creative attempt at artistic display. They were an emergency cover after the puppy ate the cane backing out of the chairs. (See first photo: she is not at all remorseful.)

Not her most endearing moment.

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